Are we Addicted to Love?
Monday, 3. April 2006 - 11:41 am
SPIKED ONLINE — Mar 28 — Love is recast as something to be planned and managed and might not last forever and moving on is no bad thing. Internet dating indicates some wider social trends. Underpinning the discussions about love today is a powerful streak of bad faith. Internet dating appears like the safer, more controlled option, avoiding the risk and unpredictability of face-to-face encounters. In The Normal Chaos of Love, first published in German in 1990, sociologists examine the new nature of love… The solidity of marriage and family has dissolved. There's greater potential for chaos. Women are no longer dependent upon men and demand more. Men, stripped of the traditional breadwinner role, are less certain of their identity and more prone to questioning their role. Intimate relationships thus become fraught and temporary and the child becomes the last remaining, irrevocable, unique primary love object. Partners come or go, but the child stays. People want more. Sociologist Zygmunt Bauman (author of Liquid Love) and writer/broadcaster Kenan Malik said (in 2003)…Bauman: On the one hand there's the need for relationships because 'I must have some support, I can't be alone…on the other hand, the fear that once I get it, that I am finished. My freedom is over.' Malik: 'The same social changes that are leading to the singleton society are creating a yearning for durable relationships.' From the explosion in online dating to the proliferation of popular novels and TV shows dealing with the plight of the 30-something singleton, there seems little doubt that we do live in a more atomised, Lonely society. FULL ARTICLE @ SPIKED ONLINE
Mark Brooks: Online dating brings freedom and hope, greater selection and immediacy. Slick ads and magazine covers of gorgeous girls and ab-ripped guys have helped raise expectations to a crescendo that no-one can deliver on, including dating sites. eHarmony has tried to redress this expectation balance by slowing the online dating process and 'discouraging' photos. It's a profitable path for them, but the core problem remains. Expectations are at giddy heights. Your comments please…