Does Dating Require Talking on the Phone?

Filed in archive on December 7, 2007

I don't answer my phone.



There, I've admitted it for the whole world to read. I really don't enjoy talking on the phone. It bores me. So it's really rare that I have phone conversations just for the sake of having a conversation. If I really want to exchange "catching up" information with someone, I usually revert to emails or instant messengers or social networking site comments. And when the rare phone conversation does occur, it's usually because I've initiated it since I don't ever pay attention to my phone when it rings. I'm usually doing something else.



But when you're involved in online dating, you inevitably get to the part where the other person wants your phone number. Many people feel that in between the online connection and the face-to-face meeting must lie a medium ground and they resolve that with the phone conversation. The phone chat lets you put a voice with the name, weed out people whose conversational style gives you the creeps and make the whole thing a little more "real" so you're both more likely to show up.



So the phone conversation before the first date is a good thing. Except if you hate the phone. I'll openly admit that I've never met people who would probably have been good dates because they insisted on a phone conversation first and I didn't want to bother. The way I see it, if they really place that much importance on the phone, they can find a gal who likes to talk their ears off. It just ain't for me.



But I'll also admit that my approach is somewhat extreme. Most people who don't like phone chats will find that a really quick conversation to confirm meeting times and places isn't so bad. So, I don't really think that the pre-date phone conversation is necessary. But I do think that most people will find the dating transition to go more smoothly if they do the phone thing every now and then.



I just don't take my own good advice.



Note: If you want to do the phone thing but don't want to give out your number, try using CallDigits. This service gives you an anonymous number for the purpose of dating.



Question of the Day: Is it a deal breaker if someone from online won't talk to you on the phone?