One of the cardinal rules of dating is to not to talk about your ex. The reason for this is simple; when you're dating you need to attract people to you by showing them your personality. If you talk too much about your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, you are focusing the attention on your ex and not you.

More than that, however, is that talking about your ex's make people think you aren't over them yet. No one wants to get involved with someone who won't pay your relationship the proper amount of attention simply because they are focused on someone else.

I read an article recently where a widower was concerned that the people he was dating didn't want to get involved with him because he had once been married. He had convinced himself that the reason he wasn't successful with dating was because women were put off by the fact that he'd been married before. However, the dating experts responded to him by asking just how many times he'd brought up his ex-wife while out with someone else.

It's a reminder for us all. When you've had a relationship, it can feel really good to talk about the things that didn't go right. But dating isn't therapy. You've got to focus on the person right in front of you in order to get a new relationship off on the right foot.