Most people that date online want a relationship. But some want to take things slower, and those are the ones that tend to indicate "friends first" or "friends to start" when asked about their desired goal on their profile.

I saw this article about a woman that dated a guy that indicated friends first and she seemed pleased as punch that this guy went out with her a few times and basically wasted her time before finally admitting that he was getting back with his wife. (Oh yeah... he was married.)

I must admit, I wound up with a guy like this when I was online dating, too. The problem was he didn't say "friends first" so I was a bit confused when he seemed offish with me. It wasn't like I was looking for a husband, but I definitely didn't understand a guy that wanted to me "my buddy." After all, I'd already had enough of those.

In my case, the guy was just out of a marriage and wasn't sure what he wanted. I'd been his first girl after his wife, and he finally told me he wanted to date me exclusively but not be in a relationship with me. In other words, he wanted to date me as a friend.

I had to tell the guy that the reason I was online dating was to meet someone special. And if he wasn't looking for a relationship it would seem that we weren't cut out for each other. He seemed shocked and angry, but I had to ask him why he was online dating if he wasn't ready to date yet.

It seems people want so badly to not be alone that they jump into the online world before they are ready. While this article had a happy ending (in that the girl didn't mind meeting a guy as a friend that she won't keep as a friend), I have to say it's incredibly rude behavior. Bottom line is, if you're not ready to date: don't. There's no shame in it. Don't fear being alone and put your profile up before you know what you want.