Are you afraid to really get out and date? Do you think you'll make an oaf out of yourself and not get another chance?

I talked to a woman the other day that had recently been in a 20-year marriage. She met her husband while in high school, and now was telling me how she didn't want to "date" because she was looking for a "life partner."

To me, it was an insecure and uneducated response to dating. After all, the majority of singles looking to meet people want to find a committed relationship. In my friend's mind, however, she seemed to think everyone was out there for fun and sex, without commitment.

The ironic part is, her attitude tells me she very much NEEDS to get out and date if she's ever to find the right guy for her. Because she met her husband so young, she doesn't know how to act on a date. She doesn't know how to get out and meet the right guy. And because she's had so little life experience in this area, she doesn't know herself very well, either. All she knows is that she was in a long relationship with someone that wasn't right, and now she wants to meet the right one.

Well... that's all anyone wants. But sometimes our insecurities get the better of us. For example, will she be nervous the next time she goes out on a date? Will she not be able to make small talk? Will she be sizing up the guy for marriage right out of the gate?

For her, and anyone like her, I came across a great article about dating insecurities. The very first item on the list described her perfectly: Dating Insecurity #1: "I'm not my date's type." Since she assumes that "guys only want one thing" she also thinks she's not the one for them. She's looking for her "soul mate" but thinks she doesn't have to date him in order to find him.

What do you think?