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Online Dating Stalkers

Filed in archive Dating Issues by Kathryn Vercillo on February 27, 2008

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Stalker is a serious word and it's meant to imply something serious. Unfortunately, we often toss the word about in casual conversation. People say "stalker" when they mean someone who is being annoyingly persistent. That's not what this is about. This is about what to do when someone continues harassing you through an online dating site to the point that you're starting to be afraid for your own personal safety.

First of all, be aware that online dating stalking does happen but it's not common. You shouldn't be paranoid about it. However, if it starts happening to you, you shouldn't assume that you're being overcautious. Trust your gut and be aware that no one has the right to stalk you online.

Signs that you're being stalked on an online dating site include any behaviors that someone exhibits which indicate persistence beyond what you've allowed. For example, you chat with someone a few times through a site and then it tapers off. The person starts emailing every day. You have to block them from your IM. They start trash talking you on the site. You ask them to stop and it escalates. Online dating stalking isn't too different from stalking in real life; it's just done through online communication.

If you feel that you are being stalked, address the situation directly. Tell the person that you want to be left alone and that you'll take action if you aren't. If that doesn't work, notify the website that this is happening on to see if they have a protocol for stopping it. You may even consider removing yourself from the site for awhile until the situation is over.

Question of the Day: Should online stalking be a crime?


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Permalink: Online Dating Stalkers
Tags: online  dating  stalking  harassment  500+read+timeout 

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