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Should Single Moms Use Kids To Score Dates?

Filed in archive Dating Issues , Parenting and Dating by Kathryn Vercillo on October 18, 2007

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There was an article over at Modern Mom last month that I've been thinking about ever since I read it. The gist of the article is that it's perfectly fine for single moms to be out there in the dating world. Definitely true. In this age when there are any number of reasons that you might be a single mom, it's absurd to think that your dating life is over just because you have kids. But even though I agreed with the gist of article, I have to say that I took issue with the advice that's given throughout the article.

The Modern Mom article offered seven tips to single moms for dating. Some were actual tips like posting only a picture of you - not you and your kids - as a profile picture so you don't scare away potential mates too early on. Some were emotional tips like realizing that your kids bring something to the table and aren't just a liability to your dating life. And some were advice on incorporating your kids into dating ... advice which included an example of using a debate abuot which cereal to buy as an excuse for getting a guy to talk to you and your kid at the store (asking him to settle the dispute).

It was this last one which I took issue with. Dating as a single mom is definitely a complicated thing. Your kids are going to be a huge part of this relationship. But using your kids to score a date doesn't fall anywhere on the spectrum of what I find to be an acceptable way of integrating them into the interaction. Of course, I've also always been one of those girls that finds men who get puppies so they can pick up chicks at the dog park to be annoying rather than charming so maybe I'm just out of the ballpark on this one.



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