The Pay Debate
Wednesday, 9. August 2006 - 8:27 am
Let's say it's your third date and the guy has paid for the first two encounters. Should you as the woman offer to pay for date #3, suggest the tab is split, or let the guy continue to pay?
There's no right answer to this question but it certainly can cause awkward moments and misunderstandings between men and women, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.
To me, this comes down to whether or not you're a traditionalist when it comes to dating. For years, men picked up the tab. So if you're still someone who likes doors being opened and coats getting offered, then letting the man pay is no big deal. If instead you really want an equal stake, then maybe date #3 is a good time to reach for your wallet.
11. August 2006 - 10:18 am
I do believe that there is a right answer! She pays for half or no deal. It has nothing to do with wether or not someone is a traditionalist. We are talking about being fair. Paying for everything does NOT mke you the hero you think it will. In fact quite the opposite. Further, it has nothing to do with wether the woman likes door being opened for them. Perhaps as a man, I like having doors opened for me. That has no bearing on who pays.
Also, I took offense to the phrase “,then letting the man pay is no big deal.” Are you implying that the only thing that matters is what the woman wants? Sure it’s no big deal to the woman, she’s probably not paying. My point is that EVERYTHING is negotiable, especially at the beginning of the relationship.