When Only One Of You Bought a Gift
Filed in archive by Kathryn Vercillo on December 24, 2007

Uh oh. Awkward.
You got together over the weekend for a pre-Christmas date with someone that you met online. You'd gone out a few times before but you didn't think that things were serious. It didn't even occur to you that you might be at the point of exchanging Christmas gifts.
But then you showed up and your date had a gift in hand.
This can be a really uncomfortable moment but it doesn't have to be. If you're left standing there empty-handed, you may feel guilty for not having thought to be something. You might feel embarassed that you didn't hold up your end of the gift exchange. But the fact of the matter is that your date felt compelled to get you something for the holiday and that has nothing to do with whether or not you bought something in return.
The thing to do in this situation is mind your manners. Say thank you. Ask your date if you should open the gift there or at home on Christmas morning. Then go on with the rest of the date. At the end of the date, say thanks again for the thoughtfulness of getting the gift. Don't apologize for not having gotten something for your date.
Once you're home, you can think about whether or not you want to do something about the gift or just let sleeping dogs lie. There are a few things that you might want to do. Scenario one is that the gift is way too personal for where you thought the relationship was at and it warrants a talk about the relationship in a few days. Scenario two is that the gift is nice and you like it but that's it; in which case you say thanks again when you go on another date. Scenario three is that you really do wish that you'd bought something for your date and you get something belatedly to make up for it.
And what if you're the one who bought a gift and didn't receive anything? Hopefully you bought it because you wanted to do so, not because you were expecting something in exchange. Don't act awkward or weird about it. Just explain that you thought of something that you wanted to give your date.
Christmas gift exchanges are awkward for people who have just started dating. Hell, they can be awkward for people who have been together a long time. But they don't have to be. Be polite and kind to one another; that's what the season is all about.
Question of the Day: Would you prefer to be the giver or receiver of a one-way-only gift?
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christmas gifts dating relationships advice awkward holiday gift sugar+daddy
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